1st post of 2014.

Hello.
I'm not sure if someone will see this since my blog is a little..dusty?

1st post of 2014.
What is 2014? What's my 2014 year of resolutions?
Let me tell you something.
I'm not excited with this new year thing. New year resolution? Why start a resolution on a new year when you can start it anytime you want when you're ready? It's like giving yourself excuses and the motivation to start something new and meaningful but you know what? It will end up all going to the drain. || sigh.

For me, 2014 didn't began nicely,or should I say, it didn't began the way I want?

Senior year,which means last year of high school. I'm in 5sc2 which doesn't means that we're not as clever as 5sc1. I still miss the days in 4sc2 but somehow, 5sc2 is getting better and better except the school must really find a way to get rid of the terrible paint odour that I'm bearing these few days. 5sc2 is better most probably because more of my close friends are in the same class. More fun and laughter. Thank God that I wasn't the same class as that.. girl. I'm fortunate.

But things could have got worse.

I've sensed that my health wasn't going well.. I purposely wrote this blog post to express how much I hate my health and problems,issues,matters that are happening around me.

I am getting headache more than once daily. HOW RIDICULOUS! First, it started with blurring of my vision, I couldn't focus and my eyes are so sensitive to light all of the sudden. The next thing you know, I'm barely alive with the headache killing my brain. It killed the back of my head. I started to feel nausea and I was sweating cold sweat and what's next? FATIGUE! I couldn't even open my eyelids properly.

It's like a routine going on and on every single day in school. I can't stand this. I don't trust that it is something to do with diseases .. it's probably just a minor headache that occurs to every one more than once in a lifetime.

Next..
I know I've been nagging about my nose lots and lots of time and I understand that I don't have the ability to change the fact that my nose is born this way and I couldn't do anything with it. My nose is weird. It's so sensitive some times, it can smell things perfectly fine but at the next second, it gets stuffy and all of the sudden, BOOM, flu came. Right now, I'm somehow trained to breathe with my mouth. Isn't this stupid? It's already a habit to breathe with my mouth now. My nose is always blocked .. The worse is that my house ran out of centirizine which is my life saver... few days back, I got a terrible flu and all my house has was that another type of antihistamine, actified. Once I swallow the pills, it straightly sent me to bed and my mind was floating around. Centirizine was the only medicine that suits me and doesn't makes me drowsy(it does but I still can handle the drowsiness that it is giving me).

With all these headache and nose problems going on, I feel so TIRED and EXHAUSTED all the time with my new tuition timetable which is like 4 hours of tuition everyday and it only ends at 10pm. By the time I finish my homework, it's already by past 1am. I don't know how long I can take this and I'm certainly not sure if I will faint one day due to all these things. One thing is for sure, I do not want to be depress over my SPM results and of course, I do not want to also send my parent's money and hope down to the drain. I don't even want to mention how much my parents spend on me for tuition. Wouldn't it be the worst investment if I wreck my SPM?

I'm moving next month. YAY not. A part of me is excited but another part of me wishes to stay here. Actually, this new house thing got my brother and father to cry for mercy. I don't like to share my family matters though but somehow, I got pulled in with the issues together and right now, I don't even wanna speak much at home. Everyone here is so cold towards each other. It's always my dad talking while all of us just listens and ignored. It became a habit.. perhaps when my sister came back,it would improved a bit but it's the beginning of a new chapter of story called SISTER'S HELL. She... I can't find a suitable word or phrase to describe her. Because she is far across the south china sea, so she don't understand what situation are we in right now! You have to believe me that it is my first time hearing my dad to say he WANTS to save money, he WANTS to stay at home and have meals,he is TIGHT. It's my first time seeing my brother got MAD at my father and literally taught my father a lesson. It's my first time.  Behind all these issues, there's this word call MONEY that destroys and take away happiness. Who says money can buy happiness? If you still think that way, I've 101 reasons to disagree with your thinking. Right now, my sister is heading to Australia soon and guess what, my sister is spending hell lot of money and she just bought an IPHONE 5S. I aint jealous, I'm just furious. But God was fair enough to gave my parents a fair family. My parents have two kids that don't even spend a single cent on branded items and don't request money from parents and don't even ask for birthday presents. Unfortunately, my sister is the opposite of those. I sigh,and sigh,and sigh everyday. I'm the only one active at home as a child of my parents. I know the best what had happened and I've heard so many complaints. My mom would act like nothing happened but she didn't know that her little daughter has a mind of a 30 years old mature woman. I know everything... everything that is available in the range of my thinking skills.  Thinking that my sister still has a long way to achieve her dreams, while I'm still here fooling around .. how would my family turn out to be? My father is like semi-retired, my mom is not working. The only one that could financially support us in the future was my one and only beloved brother. How much is he earning? I don't wanna tell. Right now, I bought books ,school books using my own money. I eat , I hang out, I buy using my own money which is also somehow my parent's money. I stopped requesting money except my mom would still give me pocket money every week. Not that I stop, I NEVER request for money. Request for money sounds like what a beggar will do and I'm not a beggar.

|| sigh.
Okay. The end of my rantings.

Good night guys.