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Just came back from a place call tuition center.
I'm exhausted,tired and EVERYTHING negative is flowing inside my body right now.
What do you expect me to feel like after attending a tuition class that starts from 4pm to 10pm. Right now.. the time is fixed like this for my Form 5 life. //sigh

Everything was fine except I was really tired from not taking nap after a long day in school.
Having my dinner usually in every Thursday in maju le ahmad. Until the waiters know we would separate bills and sometimes,they remember what I would like to drink.
HA.HA. i'm a regular thursday customer there until I got fed up of eating almost the same food till there's 1 time, I ordered something weird and it turned out..to taste quite good hahaha.

Alright,back to the story.
I was eating.. while I scroll Twitter.
I was complaining the whole time about not being able to watch GDA to my friend.
She smiled at me and told me to watch repeat.
But watching live and watching repeat is two different things that will give you two different feelings.
For example, remember MMA 2013? The time when SHINee won daesang? I was crying so badly and the tears just couldn't stop .. that was when I was watching live stream but then, when I watch repeat, I would tear up but .. the feelings weren't that strong as compared to that time.
but what can I do?
I know my priorities as a student .... It's rational to pick tuition over kpop. Yeeeeeah.

Get back to GDA again. I was scrolling twitter.. I saw SHINee got their first award in GDA, which was the ceci bla bla bla award.. something about fashion icon award. yay congratz boys! Then.. SHINee got their inkisang too. I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE SNSD GOT THEIR INKISANG then a korean shawol told us in english (surprisingly fluent) to calm down .. they split the inkisang into two -_- and the award.. goes to two respective winners..

ISN'T THIS STUPID AND CRAZY?

you guys might not understand what is wrong with me getting so much fire on me.. and why am I complaining so much for things that had already happened ! Just because not talking about something that had become past,doesn't mean it doesn't matters to me. It still does!!!!! If I don't pour out every unsatisfactory in my heart, I'm not gonna feel any better.

You guys might not understand the situation for the inkisang. First, it was stated that 80% comes from voting and 20% for judges opinion for the inkisang (popularity award) SHINee got 1st place for voting while SNSD got 2nd. I don't know which bastard.. (shawols) CHEATED AND HACKED INTO THE VOTING SYSTEM. //sigh// we gave 0.08% to SNSD..but still,we are the winner. We are just concerned about the judge opinions..because we cheated. All this while, we thought there's only 1 inkisang, 1 winner. ITS FALSE. It turns out, there's digital inkisang and disk inkisang. Roy and SNSD got digital while SHINee and BEAST got disk inkisang. THIS IS PURE STUPID. Then what are we voting for all these while? Are we voting for fun? Those shawols who paid to vote.. what is the meaning of their votes now? It's like every effort from us are going down to the drain. GROUPS WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE HIGH VOTES FOR INKISANG GETS THE AWARD. what the hell is with this GDA? i'm quite mad though. I know they want to be fair to others.. SNSD and SHINee can share their inkisang..since we cheated. So.. i'm willing to pay the price of cheating. but BEAST and ROY? sorry to be rude but.. WHAT? Both of them.. they didn't even by past 10% if i'm not wrong..and they got an inkisang.. THIS MEANS IF WE DIDN'T GO THROUGH SO MUCH OF TROUBLE VOTING FOR SHINee, THEY WOULD HAVE WON TOO. I sincerely pity those fans who paid to vote!!!! ITS A WASTE ! I was starting to get frustrated. Inkisang was used to be quite a great award and now,it turns out like anyone could win this without their fan's effort. You see, popularity award is based on number of fans and your fanbase's strength. it's not based on talent or whatever bullshit but look at them.. it's unfair.

NEXT!!!!! They won a bonsang. Yeah I was happy. until they announced the daesang. I was constantly refreshing twitter in tuition and I immediately had the word "fuck" came out from my mouth. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? MY EYES ARE BLURRED WITH TEARS. I COULDN'T CRY IN PUBLIC AND I NEVER LET MYSELF TO DO THAT. I CRIED NOT BECAUSE THEY WON ITS BECAUSE SOME OTHER GROUP WON. I will not bash, I swear I will not bash that other group..... THEY CAME FROM THE SAME COMPANY DOESN'T MEANS I MUST LIKE THEM .YOU GUYS ARE BULLSHITING. So,daesang went to that group. Yeahhhhh a million seller with their album , that starts with the alphabet g and ends with a L. I was so fucking pissed off. Where did SHINee's effort went?!?!?! Sometimes I think, their efforts.. didn't paid off! Luck wasn't on our side!!! they didn't get the recognition they wanted!!!!!! But golden disk award plainly relies on the album sales though. SHINee didn't have a single album that sold over million. but they released 4 KOREAN ALBUM IN A YEAR. IF YOU ADD UP 4 OF THEM ALTOGETHER,TELL THE OTHER GROUP TO STAND BY A SIDE PUHLEASE. ( i don't know if any of their stans would see this blogpost. so happen if you are one of their stans, please ignore this. you can make my blogpost famous. It's up to you but this is my blog,my opinion,my thoughts. You don't like,your choice.)

SM was the biggest problem!! They possibly wanted SHINee to get a daesang since they had been working SHINee out so much last year but their biggest failure was , they wanted a group to win but they are at the same time working on other group and that other group..wasn't expected to have such big success.

I'M SO PISSED OFF , SO ANGRY , URGH. I wasn't even concentrating on chemistry class!!!! UNTIL TEACHER SAID SOMETHING ABOUT EXO.. NOT THAT EXO, IT'S EXOTHERMIC. MY EYES GOT BIG AND MY MIND WAS CHANTING THE WORD "FUCK".

Overall my mood was ruined. How many inkisang and bonsang can SHINee continue to get? we can't possibly let them win the same award EVERY FUCKING YEAR,isn't it?

//chills the fuck out and breathes simultaneously//

Dear SHINee,
There's so many things I want to say to you but the 3 main sentences I wanted to say was , I'm sorry,thank you and I love you. Today, I wasn't able to share your happy moments during GDA. I was busy with studies but I was able to check for updates through twitter. I was happy, that you all won 3 awards today. You're the biggest winner for today. You all might be happy but for me, I was a little disappointed. I don't know if you guys were .. I think I put my hopes too high..  SHINee, I'm sorry. SHINee World didn't worked hard enough to get the daesang home for you and add some varieties to your award.trophy shelf. SHINee, thank you. Thank you for the effort and hard work in 2013 ! It was a miracle year for SHINee World. You entertained us throughout the year, giving us smiles,frowns and even tears. We been through so much together last year. It was unforgettable and memorable. SHINee, I love you. Loving you was a part of my life, a happy part of it. SHINee loves us, so we would love you back 10 times more. Although our distance is far but our hearts.. remain as near as though we can hear and feel each other's heartbeat beating at the same rate....
From, SHINeeWorld, sueann.