I'm home, from UK, from Türkiye
It is 2:37am now
And I'm wondering why am I not in bed
Very obvious my body isn't use to the time here yet...
.......
I enjoyed every of the days in Turkey but however, in uk, it was almost like there's a piece of hell appearing in every single day in uk.
No. Don't bullshit in front of me, dad. Don't bullshit in front of my uncle and aunty.
I know it's rude to say your own dad like that, but I'm still going to say
You're hell one of the most fake person I've known in my life.
You wanna treat me like a diamond in front of uncle beng tin and aunty Tina?
You must be so frustrated and annoying that I didn't join your drama right?
Serve you right.
You never talk to me gently like how other dads will do.
You always raise your voice at me, you always yell at me.
You command me every single time like I'm some sort of stranger or working under you.
You scolded me for no reason, you said I'm useless,I never use my brain and I'm don't use logic.
EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY REPEATING THE SAME THING TO ME LIKE TORTURING ME
I'm so sorry to be so rude to you,dad
I know people would say I'm a spoilt brat to say my own dad this way
Because I get to go overseas every year and I look like I don't have any financial problem and my dad feeds me well and etc etc etc
No.
To be frank,I'd rather born in a poor family with parents that are lovely and don't yell at me every single fucking time.
I appreciate a dad who don't laugh at my fears too.
You know how stupid and dumb every time you said I'm useless because I'm afraid of horror,ghost and haunted houses? And the way you laugh at it and talked to every single friend you know about it?
No it isn't a joke to me.
Everyone has fears,so do I.
Sometimes I really question myself, am I really the daughter you love, or you are forced to have a daughter like me?
I don't know.
I don't wanna know
To you, alcohol are much more important than how I feel.
One day if your liver ever disappoint you,I won't feel bad for you. Not even one inch of it
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I also want to express my gratitude to Uncle Goh Beng Tin and Auntie Tina Sim
They are certainly ... So kind at me
I don't even know how to do,what to do to ever payback everything they did to me.
I stayed at their house during my trip to London
They are somehow my relative from my ah ma's side....
It been quite some time people have treated me so nice and kind...
Never met someone who is so patient and gentle ...
Uncle Beng Tin is really a guy who is very knowledgable ,kind and everything I want in a man
If he's much younger and not taken, I will certainly fall for him, every single bit of him.
/is it fate that I have something with people who has their surname as Goh?/
He explains everything in art galleries to me, every single painting he likes.
He turned me into an art lover ,someone who has little knowledge in arts.
He told me stories despite how passive I am and cold to him at first.
He never stop trying to make me talk , he show interest in what I like
Because of him, I know various artist that creates miracle in art .. The beauty of art.
He's the only one who ignores my dad,just to talk to me and know more about me.
All he wants is .. Me to talk more about myself.
He's the one who dares to humiliate my dad which secretly makes him happy (shit I'm evil)
He asked me what music I like,what books I read...
he actually listen to Bruno Mars,
He went to Taylor Swift Red concert and P!nk concert..
My god.. He's probably the coolest person I've met.
The truth is..he's already in his 60s.
When I was asked what I listen to and who's my favourite artist,
I said Kpop and SHINee
He said he will look into SHINee for me!
Aunty Tina actually said she will find out more about it!
Okay. Here's how uncle bent humiliates my dad,
We were chatting about me and you know, my dad has no interest in me
He only wants to talk about his things.
And uncle beng actually stop him and asked,
"Do you know your daughter likes Kpop? You know SHINee or not?"
My dads eyes got bigger and he said
"Yeah it has 6 members"
And uncle beng answered "it has 5"
Okay..you might think it's not humiliating but my dad..he has lots of pride so it's a huge humiliation to him
The fact that my dad knows nothing and show no interest in what I like really disappoints me.
Even an uncle is more interested in what I like ...
The fact that he indirectly humiliated my dad really brightens up my mood.. Seriously.
He introduced every single cheese he has in his house for me, the way he tells his story to me
I appreciate it so much, he's the reason why I actually enjoy this london trip.
He's also a photographer... He's the only one ..you know,actually appreciates photography in that trip.
My dad actually scolded me for taking so many photos and guess what, now he's commanding me to put those photos on computer despite how tired I am and how my body is still not adjusted to the time here. Yeah fuck.
Uncle Beng is just..wow. The same thing,same scene,he can take almost 10 photos of it, okay... He's almost like me..except I don't take that much.
If you wonder why I don't have any portrait photos of me,because my parents don't appreciate photography and don't even bother to learn how to take good photos....
So, note to myself, my boyfriend has to be someone who appreciates photography like me,So we can take each other's photo. Hahahah okay I'm crazy.
He is also interested in what I am going to study in future...he assisted me so much and I'm so much clearer of what I'm really going to study! Maybe if I don't get to study law,I will take up econs..
Enough of uncle beng. If I tell more about him,I would look like I'm obsessed at an uncle who is in his 60s .
About auntie Tina, she kept reminding me how great of a person my dad is and I always feel gross about that statement because she doesn't know!! Like I said, my dad treats outsiders better than his own family members. Well,auntie Tina is not really an outsider but...sigh. She's also another kind person..she gave me clothes and a book to write about london! I will write it soon..
She's actually very cute too xD there was this time when uncle beng didn't pick up his phone and auntie cutely punching his chest and demanding an apology.. Cute as f >< I want a marriage like them too. T T
She took care of me well ... Aaaaaah I don't know.
I appreciate uncle and auntie for their warming care ...thank you so much, especially uncle beng ... He actually said I'm very special...and I had tears in my eyes when he said that
.........
End of trip = back to reality in Malaysia.
My dad changed his attitude faster than lightning.
Damn pissed off early in the morning.
I don't wanna mention what happen but fuck.
It was gross.
But my brother.. He's the best ....
He brought back many things from Japan ... Thank you :')
My brother is my source of happiness at home...
And no. I don't have brother complex.
,,,,,,,,,,
Ah yes .
Can people stop mentioning about that bastard who broke my heart?
He's not my boo anymore.
Because he can stand not talking to me, not caring about me, which is a fucking selfish act.
Don't use him to tease me. It ignites the fire in me,not tears anymore.
If anyone mention him in front of me,I'm just gonna frankly tell them that he's not mine anymore because he's selfish and a bastard that don't even give a damn about me.
Of course,his motto is something about what he does that defines him,isn't what he is underneath.
No wonder he's such a bastard.
He loves/loved me a lot underneath him but what he do is just pure gross and selfish.
So that makes him not love me and proves that he's selfish and also a shity bastard,right?
Yeah.
I don't make love with bastards,especially selfish ones.
bye. Good night.
Going to be 4 am lol
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