life's hard
there are so many reasons to just stop living.

sometimes i wonder,
what gives me the strength to live on?
the rule book ? my family ? my friends? Him ? or just God ?

living for so many years
yet so many truth revealed .
so many personalities been revealed.
if you're the only one surviving at your own boat,
you will end up drown by the strong waves of the blue ocean.
but i just want to stay at my own boat
what you guys want from me,
i can never give you .

restrictions in house,
i obey every single one of them
punishments?
i've receive the hardest one of all ,canning,slapping,hitting,kneeling,standing outside the sun for hours .

am i not obedient enough?

useless person like me shouldn't be living and yet, there are too many things that I've did a mistake. seriously, too much .

Never mind.

I'm changing.
for the sake of you , for the sake of everyone,
i'm changing and never going to look back.

i will not be the lee sue ann you will know
just let me die alone... in the quiet ocean ........

don't blame me but please, just hate me directly. i was born to be hate by everyone.

i was fate to receive any punishment from God .. for God sake , I'll change just to ....

i'll not get a chance to be myself .. i'll just .. get a chance to be what you wan me to be.
that type of sentences, i never expect you to say it from your mouth.
it hurt me so deeply.
and now, i really want to hide in Saturn forever....
to the humans, to the animals, goodbye and sorry :(

........... = ...............

i'll just dieeee ...........

goodbye.