Happy Birthday, SHINee!

Today, the mood is finally here. I really want to write something to express my current feelings. I had been so busy, so busy, so busy. In fact, at this current moment, I am still busy and I still haven't get my things done. So, what is the thing that made me put my priorities aside and write a blog post? Of course, my feelings are bursting and it needs a channel to release onto it and so, here I am.

💙happy 10th anniversary, SHINee💙

There were so much, so much, so much of feelings suppressing in my heart. There are all my mixed emotions all jumbled up, making me feel so happy, proud but also helpless and sad at the same time. If you are a frequent reader of my blog or perhaps a close friend of mine, you probably wouldn't be unfamiliar with the fact that I am an avid SHINee fan for quite a long time (to be accurate, I have already been a fan for 8 years since 2010). In those past 7 years, I was a happy fan, celebrating every possible festival that could be celebrated, from achievements to birthdays. However, this year is just totally different.

I really miss you very much, Jonghyun. I really do. Even though I am too busy to even have other thoughts distracting my mind, you would somehow make your way into my brain even if it was just for a millisecond. You have never left me, you were always on my mind. It's like reminding me that you are the one I should never be forgetting for the rest of my life. For usual days, when you came into my mind, I would smile and it gave me positive vibes throughout the day. Scrolling through Twitter, spotting your images, I would smile blindly, as if you were still here with us and more new beautiful photos of you would still pop up in the Internet. However, for today, it is different. I miss you even more and again, I just realized how much I really really love you and every other members in the group even though I have shown obvious bias towards Taemin.

Like norms, everyone will be posting OT5 photos to celebrate the anniversary. Today, I'll be scrolling them and watching them one by one. The more I scrolled, the more sorrow eats me up. This year, it is different. It felt....bittersweet? Yeah, that's the term. The whole fandom is well aware of the situation, many of us are still feeling upset over trivial matters happening in SHINee World such as some disputes happening between fans. I am unable to comprehend those fans who choose to fight over small matters. Those who choose to leave the fandom, let them be. If you are one of them, please leave quietly. If you are an OT4 supporter, you can be one but do not show discrimination or use strong language to prove how great it is to support OT4 by bashing on a particular member. Is our fandom not messy enough? We lost him, the other members needed strength to move on and we are the source of that strength. For God's sake, please, stop debating and fighting.

SHINee has reached an honourable milestone today, not with just 4 members but all 5 members together. Although Jonghyun is no longer here with us physically but in our hearts and souls, he is still with SHINee and forever will be. Without him, there wouldn't be a 10th anniversary. Jonghyun ah, thank you so much for everything you have done for SHINee and SHINee World. I hope that the pain is gone and you are at somewhere where happiness could easily reach you.

Of course, I would also like to thank all my beloved members of SHINee: Onew, Key, Minho and Taemin for staying strong and still throughout this mental-torturing process. No one in this universe deserve to go through this hardship but you guys managed to still stay together as one is really something I admire and appreciate. I know, if SHINee were to disband, I would be more depressed as compared to now. Thank you boys for keeping my source of happiness alive. I really love all of you, really really love all of you. I am very sure Jonghyun is protecting us from above. He watches every moment of SHINee and SHINee World, hoping everyone would still be happy and safe without his physical presence. However, we all know, as long as the love for him never disappear, he will always still be alive within us.

Thank you, SHINee.
Thank you, Jinki.
Thank you, Jonghyun.
Thank you, Kibum.
Thank you, Minho.
Thank you, Taemin.
Thank you, SHINee World.

I love everyone of you very very much.